The Non-Dual Relationship

The best relationship one can have is the non-dual relationship. It is best in the sense that there is no suffering in that. See, pain and pleasure are natural, inevitable, but suffering is our own conditioning, limitation. The conditioning can easily be unconditioned when you see that you are conditioned. To see means to be aware of, to be conscious of. The mind is not truly conscious. It translates the sensations and is conscious of outer world, but to be truly conscious, the mind must also be aware of its inner world. The mind must be conscious that it is conditioned and limited. It must peel through the layers of its conditions, habits, and programming.

This leads to clarity. Clarity doesn’t only means that you are seeing objects clearly, hearing sounds clearly, feeling, tasting, and smelling finely, but it means to be clear about the thoughts that are produced with those sensations. To see why and how does these thoughts came, the programming and conditioning behind them. For instance, how you react to visually appealing human being and visually non-appealing human being. What opinions are produced when you see some one doing some actions. You also need the clarity for inner world.

Before humans, there seems very less development of psychological aspect and mind. So, for those organisms, only physical aspect is there. But for human, both physical and mental aspects are there. You not only perform physically, but also mentally and so both physical and mental clarity and well-being is required. What happens when you are physically confined behind walls, in prison? You are actually confined behind the walls of conditioning mentally. These walls need to be broken, by the hammer of awareness and realizations.

You have eyes but never saw anyone, you have ears but never heard anyone, you have feelings but never felt anyone. How can you? Because even though you are not confined physically, psychologically you are confined behind walls of your conditioning. So what you hear is your own echo. If you cannot see anyone, ho can you have relationship? You say that I am in relationship with my wife, but have you ever met your wife, not just physically, but mentally? You only meet her physically, with the body. But human being is not just body like the most other organisms, human is both physical and mental. You need to meet Nikit mentally as well, because there are two Nikits; the body and the mind.

You have met my body, and based on your level of understanding, you created an image of me. Mentally you only met your own idea, only yourself. To meet Nikit and others wholly and truly, your have to first set yourself free from the mental confinement. Now this is a random and rare phenomenon.

Everyone is conditioned to keep running, to keep seeking, to keep achieving and competing. Since birth, the aims and desires are imposed. When a child grows up, he is put into school to gain the so-called education. Then after few years he is asked repeatedly about what he is going to be or do in the future. He is trained to have ambitions and goal, a hopeful and bright future. Then the poor kid starts chasing his goals and ambitions. He keeps running and running and running. He never gets any time to stop and look around. In this race he loses a lot of things and keeps regretting about not paying attention to them sooner. But he still keeps running and again misses and loses a lot of things. He barely has any time. He is conditioned to be busy by the society and culture. He is snatched from his quality of being present and happiness.

Such heavy conditioning makes mental freedom a very rare and random phenomenon. Only randomness and rareness can give the poor kid some realizations or time to stop and think for himself. But without mental freedom, you are caught into the duality and cannot have non-dual relationship. You cannot have real relationship with any human being. You can have relationship with the body, and your own idea. But human being is not only body, he has mental aspect as well. You have to meet him mentally as well. So break the barrier between you and others, the mental conditioning. The walls are thick and strong, but may randomness and rareness bless you with destroying realizations that destroys you completely. You is the product of mental conditioning, the collective, the society and relationships. May you die mentally to be reborn as a fresh and innocent you again.