Take me as I am

Take me as I am, whatever I may be. Whatever I do, whatever I am, is the ultimate reality. No comparison and idealisation can change the ultimate reality. You may go on comparing and inventing infinite ideals, but the fact remains as it is. I can fake myself to impress, to fit in, but the ultimate reality remains as it is.

Accept me wholly, not just my pleasurable parts. Accept not only light, but also all of my darkness because I am both. Without darkness light cannot be visible, and without light darkness cannot be. Both are complimentary to each others. Without total acceptance, you can never truly meet me. What you meet is only either my physical body or a part of me, an idea of me.

Without meeting me, you cannot have any relationships with me. All your relationships are with your own ideas; you are in relationship with only yourself. If you have never met Nikit, how can there be any relationship? You are just in relationship with the idea of Nikit.

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Where is God?

God is neither in, nor out. God is neither above, nor below. God is neither time, nor the timeless. God is neither finite, nor the infinite. God is neither anywhere, nor nowhere. For god to be either in or out, god must be separate from in and out. But there is nothing except god. When I am the whole space, what space is left for me to move?

With separation, god dies. God is the one whole space, and within that mind has made fragmentary infinite spaces. People are after god. When you seek god, you kill god. You tore apart the one, the whole, into infinite fragments. It’s like separating the body parts from a human. What happens? He dies. So when you seek god, you think god is something separate from you, therefore the whole one is tore apart into fragments, into pieces.

To seek god is like seeking the ocean. All you can find is the countless drops of water. There is no such thing as ocean. But when you see that the countless drops are simply one drop, it is the ocean. When you simply see that there is only one, then god is. If you go after god, or seek the god, you kill it. The poor guy is now nowhere to be found.

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Effort clouds effortless

Effort clouds effortless. Focus clouds attention. Choice clouds choice-less. Known clouds unknown. Conscious clouds unconscious. When the real is clouded by unreal, you are living in maya—illusion—, in dream. In dream, do whatever, it is only dream. What we try to do is, grab the pillow of real world from the hands in dream. How can the hands of dream reach the pillow of real world? The known cannot touch the unknown. The effort cannot touch the effortless. The choice cannot touch the choice-less. The focus cannot touch attention.

These all are happenings. Happenings implies no one does. Because doer, planner, thinker, observer, are all fictional entities with no real grounds. While you are putting effort, effortless is also happening in the grand view. But that grand view so grand and big, the eyes cannot see. Eyes fail to capture due to its grandness. You have to realise it. And when you realise it, you no longer put any efforts for the effortless, you no longer seek, no longer search. You don’t focus, you don’t make choices for it. It is always already there, you can see.

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In relationship, there is no love

In relationship, there is no love. The people in relationship use one another for pleasure. And when with pleasure comes displeasure—which is obvious thing—, there is conflict which might also end the relationship. We try to fill our void with relationship, with our ideal relationship. There is no filling of the void but only acceptance and neverminding.

When you try to fill the void, the void never gets filled. You might ask your partner to not do those things which hurts you, and even if they stop doing it, new causes of hurting you will arise. You will again ask your partner to not do those new things, and this will always go on. Your partner will never meet your ideals. You have to accept your partner for who he or she is. You have to look at the source, not the product.

Look at the void you are trying to fill. Look why you are getting hurt, and why is being hurt bad? Why can’t we stay with hurt? What’s wrong with being hurt and what’s right with being pleased? Your insecurity, your uncertainty, can never be filled by others. Your partner can try all she or he can, but still new causes will arise that will again make you insecure and uncertain.

Do not look out, look inward. Look why are you afraid, why are you hurt, not what to do to stop that feeling. Close the source, address the roots so it never bothers you again. Accept your insecurity and fears, and you won’t be bothered by them again. But the other person cannot address your insecurity or fears, they can only suppress it for sooner or later. Unless the fears, the insecurities are addressed, love has no place.

You will say I love my partner, but the fear will always hold you from trusting completely, from opening up your heart completely. Where there is no open heart, no trust, how can love be? The relationship merely becomes the exchange of pleasure and displeasure, and based on that, the relationship grows or dies. It is like the trade and business. The more profit, the more chance of growing and the more loss, the more chance of ending. It is just mind, with all its calculations, playing the game of profit and loss, using one another.

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Love is acceptance

 “Love exists only when there is a total acceptance and no desire to change” Osho. Osho is talking about the love of the self-realised ego in the level of the conscious mind. What is acceptance and how does the desire to change arise? And what does love have to do with those things?

Acceptance is a simple word: to accept something. There is the love of the self-realised ego when you accept someone completely and totally. Normally, in the love of the ego, we accept only a part of the person we think we love. I say I love my wife, but I get angry with her, jealous, hurt, frustrated, and so on. These emotions or feelings have no place in love. These emotions arise because I don’t accept my wife completely. I only accept her part which is pleasant to me, and her unpleasant part arises jealousy, rage, frustration, and so on.

The desire to change comes from comparison. The comparison of what my wife is with what my wife isn’t. It is a comparison of reality with an idea or imagination. It is like comparing a banana tree with a mango tree and expecting the banana tree to produce mangoes. How can it? And how foolish are you to expect such a thing? If there is acceptance, there are no desires to change or expectations. Even if you have, they shouldn’t affect you much because they are just unreal things, and your wife is a real thing.

You have to peel the layers of your mind yourself to come to this. No one can do it for you because no one can enter your mind and no one can understand you. Only you have lived your life and experienced whatever experiences were there. So it is your job. You have to see that what you are now is the result of the past you have had. You had no choice over your past. Randomly one day you came out of this world, and you had no choices. Then life took care of you and raised you. What you are now is the product of totality, the universe, and life.

You cannot judge anyone because you haven’t lived their life, understood their thinking process, and experienced their experiences. You cannot understand why they do what they do, or why they are what they are. You have to accept everyone as they are, whatever they may be. There is no good and bad, no measure to measure, no determinants to determine, no judge to judge. Everyone is living this life for the first time in the field of conscious mind. There is no rulebook or guideline to follow, because nobody lived this life more than one. We all are newcomers and so no one is better or worse than no one.

On the other hand, judgments are nothing but our own confessions loaded with personal history. To judge or condemn someone is to judge and condemn ourselves. Because our entire life, we have never seen anyone except ourselves. We have only seen the ideas of others according to our mind. You have seen bad Nikit, good Nikit, funny Nikit, boring Nikit, according to the memories we have spent together. You have never seen the total, the whole, the me Nikit. And what you say about Nikit, is you saying about yourself. Because Nikit is you, your own idea loaded with personal history.

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Wisdom cannot be taught

Old guys have become tired of instructing, advising, and disciplining the youngsters. How can they simply give them their years of experience? It may be a fact that what the old buddy is saying is true and a valuable lesson of life, but it is his personal lesson that came with his personal history and experiences. The experience and realisation of one is simply superficial knowledge to another. 

The religions, the Gita, the Quran, the Bible, the priest, the guru, this and that have completely failed. How can they succeed? How can someone show light to the person who has closed his eyes? The guy must open his eyes to see light. And when he opens his eyes, does he still need a guru to teach him what light is? It is simply nonsense and unnecessary. So how can anyone give their experience of light to he who has closed his eyes? You have to understand that the blind cannot see. 

Let the poor youngsters open their eyes for god’s sake. Why are you in a rush to make him a robot, a mechanical thing? Your most valuable experience and realisation is meaningless or insignificant superficial knowledge to anyone other than yourself. You are no teacher, no guru, no helper, no hero. Life does all this because we all are, after all, the guests of life. We are here for a very short period of time. Let life take care of its guests. You are no greater or better or worse than another. You are also a guest, and he is too. Life will take care of him as well. 

Read whatever book or scriptures you want to, go to whoever teacher or guru you want to, join whatever sect or religion you want to, and you will be led nowhere. Unless you open your eyes, no one can show you. And once you open your eyes, things are visible already. So what is the use? Life gives experience and realisation to every individual. Each individual has learned something valuable from their experiences, in their own way and at their own time. The experience of one is of no use to another. 

You can’t experience the Gita or Quran or Bible. They are mere knowledge. Knowledge is a thing that can be transferred and imparted, but for wisdom, there is no such facility. Wisdom must come on its own; one cannot bring wisdom with will or force.

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The Non-Dual Relationship

The best relationship one can have is the non-dual relationship. It is best in the sense that there is no suffering in that. See, pain and pleasure are natural, inevitable, but suffering is our own conditioning, limitation. The conditioning can easily be unconditioned when you see that you are conditioned. To see means to be aware of, to be conscious of. The mind is not truly conscious. It translates the sensations and is conscious of outer world, but to be truly conscious, the mind must also be aware of its inner world. The mind must be conscious that it is conditioned and limited. It must peel through the layers of its conditions, habits, and programming.

This leads to clarity. Clarity doesn’t only means that you are seeing objects clearly, hearing sounds clearly, feeling, tasting, and smelling finely, but it means to be clear about the thoughts that are produced with those sensations. To see why and how does these thoughts came, the programming and conditioning behind them. For instance, how you react to visually appealing human being and visually non-appealing human being. What opinions are produced when you see some one doing some actions. You also need the clarity for inner world.

Before humans, there seems very less development of psychological aspect and mind. So, for those organisms, only physical aspect is there. But for human, both physical and mental aspects are there. You not only perform physically, but also mentally and so both physical and mental clarity and well-being is required. What happens when you are physically confined behind walls, in prison? You are actually confined behind the walls of conditioning mentally. These walls need to be broken, by the hammer of awareness and realizations.

You have eyes but never saw anyone, you have ears but never heard anyone, you have feelings but never felt anyone. How can you? Because even though you are not confined physically, psychologically you are confined behind walls of your conditioning. So what you hear is your own echo. If you cannot see anyone, ho can you have relationship? You say that I am in relationship with my wife, but have you ever met your wife, not just physically, but mentally? You only meet her physically, with the body. But human being is not just body like the most other organisms, human is both physical and mental. You need to meet Nikit mentally as well, because there are two Nikits; the body and the mind.

You have met my body, and based on your level of understanding, you created an image of me. Mentally you only met your own idea, only yourself. To meet Nikit and others wholly and truly, your have to first set yourself free from the mental confinement. Now this is a random and rare phenomenon.

Everyone is conditioned to keep running, to keep seeking, to keep achieving and competing. Since birth, the aims and desires are imposed. When a child grows up, he is put into school to gain the so-called education. Then after few years he is asked repeatedly about what he is going to be or do in the future. He is trained to have ambitions and goal, a hopeful and bright future. Then the poor kid starts chasing his goals and ambitions. He keeps running and running and running. He never gets any time to stop and look around. In this race he loses a lot of things and keeps regretting about not paying attention to them sooner. But he still keeps running and again misses and loses a lot of things. He barely has any time. He is conditioned to be busy by the society and culture. He is snatched from his quality of being present and happiness.

Such heavy conditioning makes mental freedom a very rare and random phenomenon. Only randomness and rareness can give the poor kid some realizations or time to stop and think for himself. But without mental freedom, you are caught into the duality and cannot have non-dual relationship. You cannot have real relationship with any human being. You can have relationship with the body, and your own idea. But human being is not only body, he has mental aspect as well. You have to meet him mentally as well. So break the barrier between you and others, the mental conditioning. The walls are thick and strong, but may randomness and rareness bless you with destroying realizations that destroys you completely. You is the product of mental conditioning, the collective, the society and relationships. May you die mentally to be reborn as a fresh and innocent you again.

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There is only one step

There is only one step to wake up, to enlightenment, to awakening, to love, and whatever you call it. There is no gradual process, step by step, ladders, path, or destination to arrive at. There is only one single step. Just wake up, and all is finished. Before waking up, all is a dream. Your practices, your progress, your path, these all are just inside dreams. In dreams, we dream of waking up.

But once that realisation dawns upon us, once the first step has been taken, all is finished. Some may take that first step in 1 year, in 10, in a century, or whatever. It is a totally random happening. The realisation is a random happening. We mistakenly take the time interval till that realisation as progress or steps. It is not. The guy sitting on the bench might take his leave after 1 hour, after 2 hours, or just 5 minutes later. It is random. It is not like the guy has been accumulating the energy to stand up by sitting there for 1 hour.

So the spiritual or so-and-so practices you do are nothing but dreams. It leads you nowhere. There is no gradual progress in spirituality. It is just one single step, the realisations. Before that, the practices and meditation or methods and so on are just play inside dreams, nothing but illusory play, the same as other illusions.

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What is divine self?

People say that everything in this universe is in constant movement and change, but divine self is unchanged and immovable. What is divine self? The divine self comes into being once the divisions create by mind or ego falls, when the little petty individual self falls. Then there is love, there is no more any division. The fish, the countless drops become one☝️whole ocean. Many people can see this, but they still divide the ocean by saying waves. The ocean has no waves, the wave itself is an ocean. So, in whole, the ocean never moved. Similarly the whole universe as one, never changed or moved. Simply because change and movement all came under it. When I am whole space, what space is left for me to move? But inside me there are many movements. So the divine self is oneness, the only one. So, don’t consider this unchanged and immovable thing literally, it is an unconscious thing, the totality of existence. Don’t try to see the totality of existence, because mind is a bucket capable of holding only 5 litres of water. While totality is infinite litres of water, an endless vast river. It is simply nonsense and foolishness to do so. Let the bucket destroy naturally with the immense pressure exerted by this bast endless river, so that now there is only totality of existence.

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Interconnectedness

Imagine a tree falling just after a guy passes by or before he comes under it, and so he is prevented from getting hurt. Probably in his timeline, in his past, there were some events that caused the delay of him coming under the tree by a few seconds, or fast forwarding of a few seconds, so he didn’t get hurt. Now the guy cannot curse his past. His present is the result of his past. Each and every, even the most minute, even the most painful or unfortunate events has led him to skip getting hurt. Because his wife gave his tiffin a few seconds delayed, or he woke up a little late than usual, or so and so, has caused this present situation of him.

And he woke up late because his boss gave him more work. His boss gave him more work. His boss gave him more work because his workmate was on leave. His workmate was on leave because of his workmate’s cousin’s marriage. The cousin couples are getting married because they fell in love with each other and got into a relationship. They fell in love because they met. They met because they were in the same college. The guy’s friends joined that particular college because of his best friend. His best friend got into the college because of his dad. His dad admitted him into the college because his dad heard good things from his friend. His friend told him good things because his son graduated from that college.

This goes on and on and on, connecting each and every event, each and every individual, the whole universe. This is why we say, this whole universe is one grand movement, one flow, because all are connected and in essence one☝️. This is what we call the net of fate, from which arises karma, so and so.

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A Love that never hurts

There are two kinds of love in the level of conscious mind; the love of ego and the love of self-realized ego. The love of ego is very common and it is what the majority of us do in the name of love. This love is based on conditions, and so it can also be called trade and exchange. There are always causes, reasons, and conditions raised from selfishness for this kind of love. This love is not universal and applies only to those who meet the criteria, the conditions self has applied.

A mother loves her child, but she won’t love if this criterion is not fulfilled. If she could love without criteria, then she would love everyone. But she loves her child only, and perhaps she might have some care or some feelings for others as well, but it is not on par with that of her own child. This is the condition her selfishness or self has placed; the child must be her own. This applies to others as well, those operating from ego.

Because of this, we have anger issues, we have conflicts, we get hurt, we get jealous, we get violent, and so on. You might say that it is natural and common. As I mentioned earlier, the majority of us operate from ego, and our love is the love of ego, so to be angry, to be hurt, to be jealous seems natural to us. This love is purely a chase of dopamine, the pleasure, and avoidance of pain, or displeasure. When you keep providing me with dopamine and pleasure, our relationship will go smoothly. But the moment you give me displeasure and disturbance, I will not feel love.

In those moments, in the moments of hurt, of anger, of jealousy, we don’t feel love for the person like we used to, no matter how close we are. Have you ever inquired why we get hurt or angry or jealous? Isn’t it because we lack acceptance and letting go? And we also believe that in love there should be letting go and acceptance, but the lack of this causes angriness, hurts, jealousy, and so on. No man in the world, no matter who, can ever hurt anyone psychologically. You can never hurt me psychologically. It is me myself, self-hurting myself from the actions you did.

After all, everything is inherently meaningless. Give curse words to a newborn baby, he will not be hurt by those words. Show some disrespectful signs or symbols, he will not care, rather he might find it funny and laugh. For him, everything is meaningless. He is unaware of the meanings we have invented. The meanings are invented by the mind. We interpret our experiences and give meaning or significance to them, and from those self-imposed meanings, we are hurt or so on. So it is me myself, self-hurting.

Now there is also another kind of love; the love of self-realized ego. When the ego realizes that nothing and no one can hurt him, cheat him, deceive him, anger him, make him feel jealous or insecure, and rather it is he himself doing these to himself, he is now a self-realized ego. Now this self-realized ego has the quality of letting go and acceptance. Now who can hurt him or anger him? Who can cheat him or make him feel jealous? No one can. He no longer minds, rather accepts and lets it go.

Doesn’t it sound like an extraordinary thing for you that a man can remain unhurt, remain unangered, remain from being jealous and so on? This phenomenon is rare and seemingly difficult to bring for us. Only when realizations after realizations keep dawning upon our self-made thick walls of conditioning, capable of breaking it, can lead us to that kind of love which never hurts.

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We came out of this world

Stephen Hawking said that the universe and laws of physics seem to have been specifically designed for us because if any one of about 40 physical qualities had more than slightly different values, life as we know it could not exist. He is correct poetically, but if we were to take his words literally, he seems to miss something. This world is not designed for us, but we are designed for this world for the world existed before us. He missed the fundamental point that we came out of this world, not into this world. It is not like us, the bodies and minds, existed before the creation of the world, so that the god has designed this world for our specific requirements. This world is not a party hall to be organized or planned. This world is a random happening, so we are.

We just randomly exist. We are the products of randomness, meaningless, and purposeless. We came out of this world through evolution, so it is obvious that it supports our survival perfectly. We are, as the world is. But looking from this human mind, it seems that this world is perfectly designed for us, which would not be incorrect to say poetically and symbolically. But remember that we are not outsiders that came into this world, but we are the world itself. 

We had dinosaurs and mammoths and so on, which were as the world was earlier. Now we also have bacteria capable of digesting the plastic pollutants, which is, they are as the world is now. The perishing of dinosaurs and so on evidently supports that the world is not perfect for everyone as the world is in constant movement, the time is constantly moving. Time is nothing but the movement of energy, which causes growth and change. So those incapable of adapting perish.

This world, as it exists, is shaped by the fundamental laws of physics—the forces and constants that govern the movement of energy and matter. The stability of gravity, the precision of atomic interactions, the vast yet delicate balance of cosmic processes—these are not conditions crafted for us but the very framework within which everything, including us, arises. These physical laws do not dictate life; they simply create the conditions where life can emerge and evolve. Our perception that this universe feels “just right” for us is not a sign of its intentional design, but a reflection of the fact that we are its natural outcome. Just as water takes the shape of its container, life adapts to the constraints and possibilities of the world it arises from. Physics, in its apparent perfection, simply supports the randomness of existence by setting the stage for it to play out endlessly and unpredictably.

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How to be happy?

December 4, 2024

What is happiness? How to be happy? What prevents happiness? Happiness is simply a state of being, a state of you, of the ego, of the mind, of the conscious part of the brain, in which it is in harmony. Harmony with what? What is harmony? In my sense, in this context, harmony is the alignment, synchronisation, or the movement of the mind with truth or actuality.

See, the mind with all its ideas and images lives in its own self-made petty world or reality, which is illusory in nature. It enjoys being there and so clings to that illusory world. But the world being illusory sooner or later gets struck by the hammer of truth and actuality, which shakes, disturbs, or destroys the world. As the mind was attached to the world, this sudden disturbance and destruction breeds suffering because the mind doesn’t like this new unpleasant feeling. As the mind holds memories, it wants the repetition of the pleasant times it once had. It seeks to avoid and escape from this turmoil it is in, and so there is conflict, struggle, and efforts which is the whole suffering.

In simple, the mind cannot accept the present, doesn’t let go of the past, and seeks the hopeful future with its desires. This creates unhappiness and disharmony. I refer to the great quality of letting go and acceptance as neverminding, which the mind lacks. The mind minds to what has happened, and to what is yet to happen.

So what is truth and actuality? It is so plain and simple that the very word “truth” and “actuality” alone are enough for anyone to understand what it means. But since one is so complex, it hardly notices and understands the simple and subtle things. Okay, but what is truth and actuality? It is nothing except this very moment, this present moment, this now. Whatever it is, in this very present moment, is truth and actuality.

We are in the present, but we are not present. This is absolutely fine as the mind cannot be totally present. It is a reaction machine, which reacts to the happening, sensed by the sensations. The mind is like a computer; it requires some time, however subtle, to process and display the result. It cannot keep receiving and instantly displaying the result without taking the processing time. So, the mind lacks the ability to be truly present. So what’s the problem?

The problem is, the mind has been heavily conditioned. The mind, after physical birth, starts receiving its conditioning. The unnatural upbringing, the unnatural education system, the unnatural society —which in fact are products of nature— has heavily conditioned our mind. It has snatched from us the great quality of neverminding. The mind has been conditioned to seek, desire, compete, and so on. In this race, we are caught.

We are so busy with our daily mechanical life. There is so much fear of being left behind, of not being enough, and so on. The fear is so much that the people are just running and running and running. Working and working and working like a machine, a robot, to live a stable and happy life, which perhaps the poor man would never be able to. There is such a busy machinery life that there is literally no time for neverminding. In fact, these things, these philosophical things, these wonderful things, are considered as the lazy man’s talk, boring topics, and a waste of time.

Such heavily conditioned we are. When we were children, everything piqued our interest. A simple peek-a-boo made us laugh so much. A simple walk in the park was a grand adventure, where each pebble and flower held a secret world only we could see. But as we grew, these things gradually became boring or a waste of time. It is because of how busy we became, how machinery we became through the conditioning. But it is fine; everything is perfect and as it should be.

But if one wishes to end suffering, slow down, my friend. Stop, take a pause, and look around. See what you have already missed and realise what you could miss this very instant if you keep up your never-ending race leading to nowhere. But there is barely time for the pause. If I don’t work hard now, how will I enjoy later, right?

See? We have been so conditioned to seek a hopeful and promising future. The religion tells you if you do this, you will enjoy a good life after death. The schools tell you if you work hard, you will lead a successful life. The parents are telling you, the husband, the wife, he, she, this, and that are telling you.

And even if such a future really comes, till then you would have been so heavily conditioned that now, the present, no matter how beautiful it is, no matter it was once your dream, no longer excites you. It would have become your habit to chase the future. Perhaps this is why desires have no end. They have this nicotine quality, which makes them habitual and addictive. So the fulfilment of one desire is not enough anymore. And so, the accomplishment of the dream you have, the so-called “successful life” you want, would no longer excite you or make you happy.

If one wishes to end his suffering, realisations after realisations must dawn upon him as such that it shakes or destroys the heavy walls of conditioning he is confined into. This is the job of life. Life hammers you; the very suffering of yours has the great potential to end all of your sufferings. It is life reminding you again and again, shaking you in the hope that you would wake up. The suffering is capable of triggering realisations after realisations. One or two realisations cannot do anything because of the heavy and thick walls of conditioning, realisations after realisations must dawn upon. This is a rare and random phenomenon.

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You

You,

a home,

for the homeless me,

countless drops,

for the boundless sea,

a sprouting seed,

for the huge huge tree,

a sparking spark,

for the flame to be,

a guiding star,

for the lost to see,

a tender touch,

for the aching me,

the only truth,

for this wandering "me",

the only truth,

for this wandering "me".

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Perfect

Perfect,

is the perfect name for you,

which is perfectly true,

as it perfectly defines,

the perfect you.

Perfect,

is perfectly what you are,

and perfectly what you do,

like the radiance of the morning dew,

perfectly fresh, perfectly new.

Perfect,

not just a name,

it's a spark, a glowing flame,

the beauty, the essence, the heart of life's game,

constant, steady, always the same.

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Everything is thought

 “Everything is thought”. The seer is one, the listener is one, the feeler is one, the experiencer is one, the thinker is one, the witnesser is one, the knower is one, the sensor is one; it is the mind alone. What you see, what you feel, what you hear, what you experience, what you know, what you sense, is nothing other than the mind itself, the thoughts. What does the air see or feel? What does the grass see or feel? It is mind alone, it is thought alone which has made everything out of nothing, and its creation is there only for itself. Out of mind, there is nothing. Like what is there when you are in deep sleep with no dreams? There’s no time, no feeling, no sensations, no knower; the conscious mind is sleeping. And in that state, there is literally nothing. Even though chronically, 8 hours or more or less have been passed, if that deep sleep is there, it just feels like only one moment has passed. I slept just a moment earlier and now boom, 8 hours has passed like an instant. So we say, everything is thought because beyond and out of mind, there is literally nothing. What was before your physical birth? The same is the state of yours without mind. You also don’t remember first few months or even years after your birth. You were out of mind at that time. But it is so boring to be out of mind. There is fun in the play of mind, in the pleasure and pain, in the noise, the everlasting desires, the never-ending struggle for security and stability, the uncertainty of life. There is fun in all of that. Imagine being a grass, that eventually will be eaten by grass. What would you feel, how would it be? Imagine being air, just roaming here and there. Imagine being rock, fixed in one place for hundreds or even thousands of years. No fun in it. So we also say, it is a play of god. You are not mind, mind is a tool, a part, just like your hands or legs, which has some functions. You don’t say I am hand or I am leg, similarly you are not mind only, you are whole. You are whole the conscious, the unconscious, the body, and so and so. You are whole. So this whole is what we call god. Just like ocean is a notation for the whole drops of water, taken as one drop. God is the one, which is whole. And mind is divisive, dividing everything into fragments and clinging to those fragments. So, it is a play of God, the whole you. Mind is such a playful actor, it is wholly and fully immersed into the role it has got. It is such a humorous guy that it can and it does deceive itself in this play. Such a tremendous beauty and play and fun is there being the mind. And out of mind, all the fun is gone. Many call it blissful, but for me it is the most boring and unblissful thing that can ever be. It is the end of play for me. People are so after silence that they forget, silence is not a thing of mind, and even though they have knowledge that they are not mind, they are still after silence and love and this and that. Why bother? Out of mind those things are already there. But this is the very interesting play of which I was talking earlier.

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Blessed

Blessed,

To have you,
By my side,
In every tides,

In every storms that might.

In every dark night.

For being the light,

That illuminates,

And Eliminates,

The darkness.

Blessed,

To have you,

To understand me,

To understand us,

Not creating any fuss,

Over the things that are,

Just.

Blessed,

To have you,

To hold my hand,

To help me stand,

Through the shifting time,

In every life’s demand.

Blessed,

To have you,

With a heart so kind,

A peaceful mind,

A bond that don’t bind,

A pleasant, refreshing wind.

Blessed,

To have you,

In every way,

Each passing day,

Forever, I hope,

You’ll stay.

Oh it’s fine,

If with time,

Fade fades you,

Shed sheds you,

Take takes you.

I hope you will shine,

As bright as the stars,

As far as the sun,

As warm as heat,

As cool as breeze.

Oh, it’s fine,

If you must go,

As long as you know,

You’ll forever glow,

In my heart’s eternal flow.

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I offer my curse to God

If god is pleased by offering him gold and diamonds, I offer him mud. If god is pleased by offering him prayers, I will offer him curses. If god is pleased by offering him tears of devotion, I will offer him laughter. If God desires my humility, I will stand tall in defiance. If God seeks worship, I will remain silent.

For if this God is real, he would not demand, nor expect, nor be swayed by the trivial offerings of mortals. Therefore, I will offer neither wealth nor words, neither reverence nor rebellion. Instead, I will seek to understand the truth of life, the truth of myself. For in that understanding, perhaps, lies the only offering that matters. 

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God and The Ocean

God and the Ocean are the same; they both are, and they both are not. In the name of the Ocean, all you can show me are countless drops of water. In the name of God, all you can show me are countless fragments of creation.

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“I” and “You” cannot Love

 Just like your old radio cannot play YouTube videos, “I” and “you” cannot love. We are looking for and at the wrong thing with the wrong thing. This “I” and “you”  is incapable of love or trust or faith and so and so. It is because “I” and “you” are nothing more than bundle of memories, the mind. You are the past. The mind is made from particles of past, and it can only hold the past. Just like your hands can never grasp the flowing water from river, mind fails to perceive or to ever be present. 

First of all it is wrong or foolish to try to be present, or grasp the present. And secondly, mind is not the tool to do so. So what we are doing is, we are looking for and at the wrong thing from the wrong thing. Yet it is the right thing as it suggests the mind is working perfectly, functioning healthily. Because minds function is to do the wrong thing, to stay away from what is. And by trying to stay with what is, we are out of what is, yet under the what is. Such a lovely play of mind it is.

One might wonder, what all of this “what is” has to do with love, trust, or faith and so and so? Well, they all are just the same thing, the one thing expressed differently. They all imply freedom. Freedom from what?  There is only one bondage, which can again be expressed differently. I would like to express it or call it attachment. We attach to everything. And ironically, everything is just thought, which in-fact is nothing. Such a lovely play of mind. 

If we express differently, we can also say the bondage is to not stay with what is. What is means the fact, the truth, the actual, the present moment. We are endlessly comparing, comparing what is with what should be and what could be. This what should be and what could be are our ideals, whom we chase or compare ourselves to feel pity or proud. This endless comparison is bondage.

Everything you see is your own thoughts. When you see me, your mind instantly interprets what you perceive, creating an output—a thought. That thought is what you truly see. So you are basically seeing only yourself, your thoughts. When you say Nikit is bad, it is the translation by mind of the memories Nikit and you shared together. So Nikit and his badness is basically just you. 

Unless you open your eyes and look around, you cannot have love or whatever. But this “I” or “You” is incapable of opening eyes. The “I” doing its job perfectly itself is love. And this “I” failing to see that love is everywhere already, itself is perfect functioning and this is love.

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