In relationship, there is no love

In relationship, there is no love. The people in relationship use one another for pleasure. And when with pleasure comes displeasure—which is obvious thing—, there is conflict which might also end the relationship. We try to fill our void with relationship, with our ideal relationship. There is no filling of the void but only acceptance and neverminding.

When you try to fill the void, the void never gets filled. You might ask your partner to not do those things which hurts you, and even if they stop doing it, new causes of hurting you will arise. You will again ask your partner to not do those new things, and this will always go on. Your partner will never meet your ideals. You have to accept your partner for who he or she is. You have to look at the source, not the product.

Look at the void you are trying to fill. Look why you are getting hurt, and why is being hurt bad? Why can’t we stay with hurt? What’s wrong with being hurt and what’s right with being pleased? Your insecurity, your uncertainty, can never be filled by others. Your partner can try all she or he can, but still new causes will arise that will again make you insecure and uncertain.

Do not look out, look inward. Look why are you afraid, why are you hurt, not what to do to stop that feeling. Close the source, address the roots so it never bothers you again. Accept your insecurity and fears, and you won’t be bothered by them again. But the other person cannot address your insecurity or fears, they can only suppress it for sooner or later. Unless the fears, the insecurities are addressed, love has no place.

You will say I love my partner, but the fear will always hold you from trusting completely, from opening up your heart completely. Where there is no open heart, no trust, how can love be? The relationship merely becomes the exchange of pleasure and displeasure, and based on that, the relationship grows or dies. It is like the trade and business. The more profit, the more chance of growing and the more loss, the more chance of ending. It is just mind, with all its calculations, playing the game of profit and loss, using one another.